My heroes

My heroes are my mom and dad. Two years ago today they took me home from the shelter I had been living at and gave me a nice warm bed to sleep in, good food, and lots of unconditional love.

Unfortunately, they also brought home Helton that day, but I'll try to let that slide and sound as grateful as I can.

It's called PRACTICE

Jeez. Mom gets so mad when I wake her up 3 or 4 times during the night to let her know I'm there. At least I'm nice about it, I just stand on her or walk over her head. Helton is the one that licks and bites. Even Vinny woke her up one night last week by meowing for attention.

I don't know why she is so upset about it. It's not like that human child of hers is never going to wake her up. She might as well prepare herself now for it.

Winds of Change

Lots of boxes around here. Of course, that is much to my liking because there is nothing better than a good box to make into a home. But mom and dad always seem to thwart my attempts to decorate and establish permanent residency. Oh well. Good thing there is a comfy bed and sofa to fall back on.

Helton is a healthy cat. All of her blood work came back normal. Mom and dad are very happy to hear that. It only took 3 months, but she is back to a normal cat. She is gaining weight and starting to look like her old self, sort of. She still has vampire tendencies and likes to sneak up on me while I'm sleeping and lunge for my neck.

On a similar note, Vinny seems to have grown a pair. For months I have stalked and chased him any time he comes near. Well, for the past week or so he has decided to fight back. Mom and dad say how proud they are of him for standing up for himself. Me, well, as long as he doesn't land on TOP of me, he can do whatever he wants to boost his ego, I guess.

There are lots and lots of clothes around here that look like they would fit a little person. Thankfully mom doesn't bother to try to see if they fit us. Mainly, we just like the bags they come in. Bags are almost as good as boxes.

Well, I have exerted myself beyond my capacity. The heat is still taking a toll on us, even though mom and dad keep it plenty cool in here. I must go rest.

TTFN,
Ellis D.

Pardon the interruption

If you have been paying attention to the weather lately, you'll know that it's hot. And if you have been paying attention to me, you'll know that I'm quite well endowed in the fur department. Even though my mom and dad have air conditioning, it is not always running when they are away from home, and even when it is, I can still be overwhelmed by the heat. Thus, I nap and remain more sedentary than usual. But not as sedentary as Vinny, as I am not a lard ass who only eats, sleeps, and poops.

Anyhow, here I am. With an amazing burst of energy to update you on the latest happenings in my eventful life.

A few weeks ago, Vinny and I were tricked into these small confines and taken for a ride in the car. We both voiced our protest loudly, but to no avail. We met a lady who was nice enough, but I didn't know her and I purposely tensed up and growled at her. Mom got mad at me for that, but c'mon, she stuck something up my butt to take my temperature and expected me to want to be cordial after that? I even hissed at Vinny for added dramatics. Apparently that scared him enough to pee all over the counter and the computer.

I left with a clean bill of health minus a bad left ear. Mom had to put this really horrible liquid in my ear twice a day for a week, and then once a day for another week. Oh, hush up with "but Helton has been through SO much in the past 4 months". I don't care. I don't like my ears messed with. Cry me a river about Helton. At least I don't pee on the bathmat and make mom take me in to the doctor and spend money to find out that nothing is wrong with me, I'm just a bad kitty.

Vinny didn't fare so well. It was discovered that he has heartworm. This made mom upset because it is yet another thing that our previous vet didn't find, and it has advanced enough to not be a new thing. Luckily, it's not active. But now thanks to that, we all have to have some liquid rubbed on our backs once a month. Vinny was also put on a diet. This affects me, because I have to eat his stupid diet food. Except it's delicious and I love it. Nom. Helton also got put on a super strict urinary diet and she can't have any more dry food, and no more wet food Sunday treats. Watching mom and dad try to coordinate people eating the right food at the right time is often amusing. I specifically like the fact that they must cater to me because I am not like Vinny. I do not live to eat, I pick at my food during the day. So, after Vinny wolfs down his share, they bring me a bowl and I eat what I want. Nothing like breakfast in bed!

We hear the time is coming that we will be living in a new home. Mom assures us that she and dad will be there with us also. Dad also mentions these things called stairs. I'm not sure what those are. Dad says they will be tough for me because I am uncoordinated.

Mom's tummy kicked me the other day. I was giving her a tummy massage and all of a sudden it decided to kick back. That was quite the surprise. But from what mom and dad say, we're in for a big surprise ourselves in a few weeks.

And now I am spent. Back to sleeping under the A/C vent for me. Until we meet again...

Ellis D.

The Dog Days of Summer

Yes, they are called the DOG days because only a dog would enjoy this HEAT! Perhaps you have not seen my gorgeous fur coat that I sport, but it is a quite heavy, thick fur coat. Heat + my luxurious fur does not = comfort in the summer. As much as I make fun of Helton for her fur not growing back where she was shaved for surgery, I bet she is a much cooler kitteh than I am. For a while there, I didn't think that mom was ever going to turn on the air-conditioning, but now she has caved and runs it a little more frequently. She says it's because she's pregnant and hot, but deep down I am sure it is to keep my handsome self comfortable.

Helton is still getting preferential treatment even though we all KNOW she's just playing it up to get it. She gets special food and gets to eat it up on the counter. She gets a needle shoved into her twice a week with fluids and because she's oh-so-good about that, she gets extra treats. And then once a week they shove some crushed up pill in water down her throat. I bet it's tuna flavored. Lucky bitch.

I still enjoy chasing Vinny around. He gets so upset and runs to mom or dad to complain, but come on - have you seen lardass? He NEEDS the exercise. I'm doing him a favor. Duh.

Only 3 more months until us kittehs do not take top billing in this household. This kid had better be pretty cute or else I might demand more attention.

On a side note, here is a picture from my favorite website. It shows how nice our humans can be to us kittehs in our time of need. My mom and dad would do the same for us.

The playing field has been evened

Thank heavens for little girls. Why, you ask? Because little girls are nicer to kittehs than those brutes of little boys! And a little girl is just what we are getting come this September. I'll admit, as soon as mom and dad realized that Helton was a girl, I figured the tide would turn. I bet if they never found out she was a girl then we'd be welcoming a little boy.

But enough about human babies. Can I start complaining about Helton again? She had her surgery 3 weeks ago and is back to as normal as she can be. Oh, it was a rough go of it to begin with. She spent 2 days at the hospital and then after she came home she had to go BACK to the hospital because she wouldn't eat (Vinny and I made up for that though... nom nom nom). Now mom has to stick a needle in her every other day and pump her full of fluids. She also gets "special" food. Well, jeez. If that's what it takes to get special food, perhaps Vinny and I should develop some sort of affliction. I do feel a little sorry for her as her tush and tummy are nekkid. And she is such a skinny little thing. If Vinny ever made a mistake and sat down on her, it'd be curtains for sure!

Mom is leaving us. There is a bag packed. It's a small bag so I think it is only for a few days. Here's hoping. Dad is great and all, but mom is the MOM. I don't think dad likes me all that much. Just because I'm annoying and full of fur and clutzy and make lots of noise... Hopefully mom will bring us back some treats from wherever she is going. I bet Helton can't have any. Wah wah wah, Ms Special Food Kitteh.

A Sex Change, Perhaps?

So, much has happened since the last installment of my thrilling life. Life has been so exciting that I have needed many more cat naps. Do you understand how hard it is to be a cat some days? You have to eat, give yourself a bath, lay in wait for your brother to come out of the bathroom and then chase him around, eat, sleep, take a bath, eat, take a bath, and sleep!

Anyway, on to Helton, the kitteh of choice in our household. I suppose I shall have to feign some limp or sneeze to get some attention in the near future. After many appointments at Alameda East, it was determined that Helton had a kidney stone which is why there was so much weight loss and a change in demeanor. Yay, kidney stone, problem solved. But Helton also got another diagnosis - FEMALE. Mom and dad were all surprised, but Vinny and I knew all along. Us kittehs are not dumb. So mom finally has her girl cat she's wanted. That saves us the stress of ANOTHER kitteh in the house. Three's company, you know.

Anyway, she has her surgery this Wednesday. I have been told repeatedly by mom and dad that I HAVE to be nice to her. Listen, I'm a cat, I don't HAVE to do anything. But mom says she's going to be pretty sore and have a big cut in her tummy so they can get to her kidney. I think mom is pretty worried about her. So, if you could say a couple little prayers for her to make it through with flying colors, I know that mom would appreciate it.

I was thinking while they were in there, they could just change her to a boy, too.